tis a terrible wish

but i wish my mother will just leave me alone...for good... like stop antagonising me the way she does... stop making me feel the way i do

i am so frigging depressed right now...

how are u supoz to honour a woman who makes you feel so angry towards her so much all your life even when all you want to do is to love her?

i am just so tired and at the end of my tether... since i was kid, she made me feel so rotten about myself... since forever a part of me dies everytime i am around her...

everyday i hope for freedom from her and her all the shite she throws at me...

everyday i just want to fly away. to break free...

i want to be good but all i am is bad in her eyes...

eternal struggle btw light and darknses deep inside... everytime we speak, all she makes me want to do is to wish that one of us would just disappear... so that all this frustration will end.

I am so sick and tired and this is not a very Christian entry but it is one of sheer depression and desperation.